‘Bad Parent’ playwright gives good advice

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/11/2022 (783 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Playwright Ins Choi is a busy man, but he made time to chat via email with the Free Press about his career, his family and his latest production, Bad Parent, on now at Prairie Theatre Exchange.

Welcome to Winnipeg. Have you ever been here before?

I love Winnipeg. I have so many great memories in this city. I was first here with my play Kim’s Convenience many years ago — in February! — and still had a great time. My wife and kids came out for that not-quite-spring break and we went to the Children’s Museum, the zoo, The Forks, saw some shows, and got lost in all the skywalks downtown. And then one summer, we hitched our tent trailer to the back of our car and camped across Canada all summer long while I hit the Winnipeg and Edmonton fringe festivals with my solo show. We also camped out at Riding Mountain National Park. So beautiful: the art, the people, the land.

Tell me about your kids. What’s the last thing they did to make you laugh hysterically?

My daughter is 14 years old and my son is 12. My daughter is into BTS, swimming and doing “collabs” with her musician/singer/songwriter friends. And my son is into a Manga series called One Piece, anything to do with Star Wars. He also loves going for walks on his own in the neighbourhood and then reporting on what people are doing. Basically Mr. Roger’s Neighbourhood Watch. I love my kids so much.

One time my daughter put her phone on the dashboard of the car and was video recording herself like she was hosting a YouTube channel. And then all of a sudden she freaked out ‘cause she didn’t know where her phone was. We were all laughing hysterically and it was caught on video.

After school, my son’s socks stink. He knows this, and then gets near his mom, asking her sweet questions about when he was a baby. In the middle of sharing a delightful memory, she stops breathing because of the stench rising up from his socks. She shakes her head leaving the area. So gross, but so funny every time.

I love my parents. Tell me about yours, and tell me how they responded to your wanting to go into theatre.

My dad is a great storyteller, a funny clown and a retired pastor. My mom is a robust scheduling, budgeting organizer of group events for Korean seniors. They’re both very much alive and active. They weren’t thrilled when I told them I was going into acting. But they weren’t very thrilled with me to begin with at that time. I wasn’t doing too well in school, and didn’t have many good career options, so, it wasn’t specific to acting, just more of a general disappointment with me.

Did you always know you wanted to be a parent?

I always wanted to be a dad. My dad was a great, fun dad. I wanted to be like him.

Did you always know you wanted to be a playwright? Was there a specific work, a specific playwright, or performance that converted you?

I never wanted to become a playwright. Like, it wasn’t something I sought after. I wrote a play, and then people started calling me a playwright.

There is a long tradition of TV and movie adaptations of plays. Do you have a favourite adaptation?

Glengarry Glen Ross, Rashomon (Macbeth), Fences, Amadeus, Les Miserables (yes, the one with Russell Crowe. I had such an incredible experience watching that movie — leave me alone).

Were you intimidated by the task of following Kim’s Convenience up? How did you approach what to do next?

I’m always writing a bunch of things at various stages of completion. Even now, I have three plays I’m working on. After Kim’s went up, I was part of the collective that created the show Alligator Pie at (Toronto’s) Soulpepper (which came to Manitoba Theatre for Young People). I also created a solo show called Subway Stations of the Cross (which came to the Winnipeg Fringe; I was in the space under the planetarium). So, in a sense, Bad Parent didn’t quite follow up Kim’s but I get your point. There is that expectation, for sure. Success is a different kind of beast to contend with. I mean, I’ve failed a lot, got used to it. But then you succeed and sometimes it’s more difficult to deal with.

Sometimes, creatives refer to their latest work as “their baby.” Is that an apt term for Bad Parent?

Yeah, I think so. You create something and as it grows you need to let go of it or release the control, allowing for it to lead you in how it wants to develop. And that letting go continues as you invite a dramaturg into that process and a director, designers, actors, a theatre company and if you’re really, really fortunate, a live audience who’s applauding your baby all growed up.

What books are you reading?

My Name Is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok. So good. I relate to it on so many levels: as an artist, as an awkward person who doesn’t fit in, as the son of a religious leader growing up in a religious community. Such a good book. I also recently read Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner (who performs as Japanese Breakfast). Had a great time reading that too.

No way. I’m reading Asher Lev and thought H-Mart was brilliant. Somewhat related to that second book, which deals a lot with Michelle Zauner’s Korean background, Bad Parent stars Josette Jorge and Raugi Yu shared with me that it meant so much for them to be in a play featuring Asian characters.

Stories are powerful. They disarm, nudge empathy and have the power to unite an audience regardless of who they are individually. And I think for a while, regardless of intent, what was received across Canadian theatre, film and television was that only a certain kind of story was worth telling, told by a certain kind of Canadian based on who was on stage or the screen, inadvertently sending the message that only certain stories were legitimate. We all know how it feels to be excluded. Things have changed for sure and things are changing. Representation is important because it broadens the invitation to be part of the story and the storytelling.

What makes a good parent?

I’m not an expert in parenting, but since you asked, I think enjoying your spouse and still having fun with them makes for good parenting in an indirect way. I think there’s got to be a balance of being strict with your kids and knowing when to bend. Allowing them to make mistakes and bathing them with grace when they do. Playing games together. Going camping. Learning to say sorry. Learning to forgive. Not being in such a rush daily and also in terms of reaching “achievements” for your kids, y’know? To not be in such a frustrated rush for your kid to understand math or ride a bike. I mean, at the same time, challenging them is good too, not doing everything for them. Teaching them how to get up after they fall. I think kissing your spouse and telling them you love them every day can only help. The days move slowly, the years move fast, and you’ll never get that time back, so spend it with your kids.

This interview has been edited for style and clarity.

ben.waldman@winnipegfreepress.com

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