One great costume Treat yourself with a Winnipeg-themed Halloween get-up — the trick is you'll need a little creativity By: Jen Zoratti Posted: 7:00 PM CDT Monday, Oct. 28, 2019

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/10/2019 (1889 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

When you’re a kid, Halloween means dressing up as a pumpkin and then going door to door to fill a smaller, plastic pumpkin with candy.

As an adult, it means being invited to parties that necessitate a (preferably clever, topical) costume, and then having to drag your last-minute butt to a Halloween store or website, where you are confronted by trashy, off-brand, definitely-not-Disney princess costumes with names such as “Stroke of Midnight Maiden” and “Princess J.”

There now exists a Sexy Mister Rogers — sorry, “Nicest Neighbour” — costume because literally nothing is sacred. And who could forget the Grand Prix worst-costume winner from 2018, the sexy Handmaid — sorry “Brave Red Maiden” — costume?

It’s that time of year when Big Halloween objectifies women by literally turning them into sexy objects (sexy remote control, anyone?). Or when people decide it’s a good time to turn someone’s culture into a racist costume. Some costumes, like the infamous “Pocahottie” get-up of a few years ago, really go the distance and manage to be bad for everyone, on every level. Happy Halloween!

What I’m saying is, adults ruin everything.

If you want to dress up as a culture, may I humbly suggest Winnipeg’s? There’s plenty of inspiration to be drawn from our Prairie-city peculiarities. All you need is some imagination and maybe a glue gun. Here are five hyper-regional costume ideas to kick-start your creativity. These work for adults or children of any gender. And if you absolutely must make a “sexy” version of any of these, I don’t know, add fishnets or something.

Golden Boy (or Girl)

If you insist on painting your skin a colour that is not your own, consider going for the gold and paying tribute to our city’s shiniest symbol. Also, this costume has sexy baked right into it.

Full gold body paint is a bit of a commitment (please wear underwear), but a gold lamé bodysuit would also work well. Find a sheaf of wheat and spray-paint it gold.

Show off your quadricep strength by assuming the Golden Boy stance — left leg planted, right arm outstretched. Insist on facing north at all times.

Alternate local icon idea: The Nutty Club Can-D-Man. I can’t envision a version of this costume you can sit down in, though.

Treemageddon

You could break out your Winnipeg Whiteout gear and go as the October Blizzard, but Sad Elm is much more creative and the group costume potential is high due to the truly devastating number of trees we lost.

Actually, maybe this costume is too upsetting.

If you’d rather stay on the sunny (and only getting sunnier) side of the street, you and your pals can just go as the city’s tree canopy — but at least one of you needs to wear the orange spot of death. Sorry, still upsetting.

Alternate topical idea with a made-up name: Wexit. Draw the western provinces on a piece of blue Bristol board and hang it around your neck placard style. Threaten to leave your Halloween party. Make this a couple’s costume by getting your partner to dress up like the eastern provinces and having a loud but mostly nonsensical argument.

Slurpee

We love our sugary slushy beverages in this, the perennial Slurpee Capital of the World, and you can really let your Pinterest skills shine with this one.

There are various ways to make a Slurpee-cup body that range from construction paper to sewing machine. Around the time of royal weddings, crafty people make DIY fascinators out of bath loofahs and headbands.

Turn that into an adorable Slurpee headpiece by popping a large plastic dome lid over the loofah (that’s your Slurpee), and sticking a straw in there and positioning it at a jaunty angle.

Alternate local beverage idea: a bottle of craft beer.

Honey Dill Sauce

Similar idea to the Slurpee costume, except you’re dressing up as a jar of everyone’s favourite made-in-Manitoba dipping sauce.

Here’s the thing, though: as with actual honey dill, it has to be Greetalia’s Honey Dill Sauce, the gold standard. Bonus points of you nail the label as well as the colour of the sauce.

Make this a couple’s costume by getting your partner to dress up like a chicken (beginner) or chicken finger (intermediate).

If you can find a way to make a chicken-finger costume that doesn’t look gross, let me know.

Alternate local delicacy idea: Jeanne’s cake. I feel like this would require a lot of felt.

The Forks

This one is a bit cerebral. Are you ready? Attach a bunch of forks to a bodysuit. You’re ‘The Forks.’

I’ll show myself out.

Alternate local location idea: Portage and Main. Don’t forget the no pedestrian signs.

jen.zoratti@freepress.mb.ca

Twitter: @JenZoratti