Sideline Chatter: Coaches hope he will remember which jersey to wear

By: Dwight PerryThe Seattle Times Posted: 4:00 AM CDT Sunday, Jun. 23, 2019

Look who’s back!

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/06/2019 (2049 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Look who’s back!

Bru McCoy, the five-star receiver who signed with USC and then bolted to Texas, has transferred back to USC again —all in a span of six months.

But say this for the guy: He doesn’t need any work on his comeback pattern.

Bay Area headlines

—At SportsPickle.com: “Warriors GM Bob Myers announces Kevin Durant tore Achilles, clears him to play Game 6.”

—At Fark.com: “Raiders to be the subject of ‘Hard Knocks’ this year, giving us our long-awaited sequel to ‘COPS’.”

Seeing Red Dept.

Only 3% of the U.S. population donates blood, according to the Red Cross.

Even worse, it’s only 1% if you toss out MMA, the National Hockey League and Black Friday shopping.

Sports quiz

Saints QB Drew Brees says he’s the victim of a jewel heist, claiming:

a) a jeweler overcharged him $6 million for diamonds

b) a side judge’s non-call on pass interference cost him a possible Super Bowl ring

Ben Hur, done that

Chariot racer Gaius Appuleius Diocles —who won 1,462 of 4,257 races in Rome and placed in 1,438 more in the second century A.D. —amassed $15 billion in career earnings in today’s dollars.

And you thought Mike Trout landed a mega-payday?

Pass the ball needle

The Patriots filed —and later dropped —tampering charges against the Texans over Houston’s reported wooing of New England director of player personnel Nick Caserio.

The Texans, for their part, said the Pats’ claims were overinflated.

Turbulence alert

The playing surface at the Los Angeles Coliseum will be renamed United Airlines Field.

Now for the hard part: getting lap belts installed on 78,467 seats and finding beverage carts that can go up and down stadium steps.

Tweet of the Week

From @NOTSportsCenter: “Kawhi Leonard’s phone has been blowing up since leading the Raptors to an NBA title:

“Drake: You know I’m the real MVP.

“Lakers: We’ll take you and AD and Butler and Kyrie next season. Please?

“Mom: Don’t have too much milk and cookies celebrating tonight.

“Kevin Durant: Always wanted to be a Raptor …”

Four-gone conclusion

The Nationals hit four consecutive home runs in the eighth inning against San Diego on June 9, snapping a 1-1 tie.

So, when’s Padre Pitcher Swivel-Head Doll Night?

Talking the talk

—Opening line to a 49-year-old’s online obit at a Rhinebeck, N.Y., funeral home: “Daniel Neufeld would like you to know that he got sick and tired of waiting for the Buffalo Bills to get their act together and has finally thrown in the towel.”

—Rob Merc, via Twitter, on news that Yankees shortstop Didi Gregorius, while sidelined after Tommy John surgery, taught himself to play the piano: “Maybe he accidentally had Elton John surgery.”

Kicked to the curb

The Chicago Bears waived kicker Chris Blewitt.

Headline writers were inconsolable.

Quote marks

—Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, on a Honda mower breaking a record by going from 0 to 100 mph in 6.29 seconds. “Which was just a push mower that happened to be operated by Usain Bolt.”

—Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Sir Winston won the Belmont Stakes: “Is this the first time in history that four horses won the three races of the Triple Crown?”

—Jaguars CB Jalen Ramsey, via Twitter, after the team told his agent he won’t be getting a contract extension until 2020: “Imma ask for so much money, they have to put me on layaway.”

Comeback of the Week

—Giants ace Madison Bumgarner to Max Muncy, after the Dodger slugger admired a home run he hit into McCovey Cove: “‘Don’t watch the ball —run.”

—Muncy: “If you don’t want me to watch the ball, you can go get it out of the ocean.”

Quote, end quote

—B.C. blogger Gregg Drinnan, on the CFL kicking off one day after Game 7 of the Stanley Cup: “Is the NHL season too long, or does the CFL season start too soon?”

—Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the perps in Belgium who stole $2 million worth of Red Bull from a delivery truck: “How do these thieves sleep at night?”

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January 31, 2025

Sideline Chatter: Coaches hope he will remember which jersey to wear

or

Bay Area headlines

—At SportsPickle.com: “Warriors GM Bob Myers announces Kevin Durant tore Achilles, clears him to play Game 6.”

—At Fark.com: “Raiders to be the subject of ‘Hard Knocks’ this year, giving us our long-awaited sequel to ‘COPS’.”

Sports quiz

Saints QB Drew Brees says he’s the victim of a jewel heist, claiming:

a) a jeweler overcharged him $6 million for diamonds

b) a side judge’s non-call on pass interference cost him a possible Super Bowl ring

Ben Hur, done that

Chariot racer Gaius Appuleius Diocles —who won 1,462 of 4,257 races in Rome and placed in 1,438 more in the second century A.D. —amassed $15 billion in career earnings in today’s dollars.

And you thought Mike Trout landed a mega-payday?

Pass the ball needle

The Patriots filed —and later dropped —tampering charges against the Texans over Houston’s reported wooing of New England director of player personnel Nick Caserio.

The Texans, for their part, said the Pats’ claims were overinflated.

Turbulence alert

The playing surface at the Los Angeles Coliseum will be renamed United Airlines Field.

Now for the hard part: getting lap belts installed on 78,467 seats and finding beverage carts that can go up and down stadium steps.

Four-gone conclusion

The Nationals hit four consecutive home runs in the eighth inning against San Diego on June 9, snapping a 1-1 tie.

So, when’s Padre Pitcher Swivel-Head Doll Night?

Talking the talk

—Opening line to a 49-year-old’s online obit at a Rhinebeck, N.Y., funeral home: “Daniel Neufeld would like you to know that he got sick and tired of waiting for the Buffalo Bills to get their act together and has finally thrown in the towel.”

—Rob Merc, via Twitter, on news that Yankees shortstop Didi Gregorius, while sidelined after Tommy John surgery, taught himself to play the piano: “Maybe he accidentally had Elton John surgery.”

Kicked to the curb

The Chicago Bears waived kicker Chris Blewitt.

Headline writers were inconsolable.

Quote marks

—Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, on a Honda mower breaking a record by going from 0 to 100 mph in 6.29 seconds. “Which was just a push mower that happened to be operated by Usain Bolt.”

—Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Sir Winston won the Belmont Stakes: “Is this the first time in history that four horses won the three races of the Triple Crown?”

—Jaguars CB Jalen Ramsey, via Twitter, after the team told his agent he won’t be getting a contract extension until 2020: “Imma ask for so much money, they have to put me on layaway.”

Quote, end quote

—B.C. blogger Gregg Drinnan, on the CFL kicking off one day after Game 7 of the Stanley Cup: “Is the NHL season too long, or does the CFL season start too soon?”

—Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the perps in Belgium who stole $2 million worth of Red Bull from a delivery truck: “How do these thieves sleep at night?”

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January 31, 2025

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Bay Area headlines

—At SportsPickle.com: “Warriors GM Bob Myers announces Kevin Durant tore Achilles, clears him to play Game 6.”

—At Fark.com: “Raiders to be the subject of ‘Hard Knocks’ this year, giving us our long-awaited sequel to ‘COPS’.”

Sports quiz

Saints QB Drew Brees says he’s the victim of a jewel heist, claiming:

a) a jeweler overcharged him $6 million for diamonds

b) a side judge’s non-call on pass interference cost him a possible Super Bowl ring

Ben Hur, done that

Chariot racer Gaius Appuleius Diocles —who won 1,462 of 4,257 races in Rome and placed in 1,438 more in the second century A.D. —amassed $15 billion in career earnings in today’s dollars.

And you thought Mike Trout landed a mega-payday?

Pass the ball needle

The Patriots filed —and later dropped —tampering charges against the Texans over Houston’s reported wooing of New England director of player personnel Nick Caserio.

The Texans, for their part, said the Pats’ claims were overinflated.

Turbulence alert

The playing surface at the Los Angeles Coliseum will be renamed United Airlines Field.

Now for the hard part: getting lap belts installed on 78,467 seats and finding beverage carts that can go up and down stadium steps.

Four-gone conclusion

The Nationals hit four consecutive home runs in the eighth inning against San Diego on June 9, snapping a 1-1 tie.

So, when’s Padre Pitcher Swivel-Head Doll Night?

Talking the talk

—Opening line to a 49-year-old’s online obit at a Rhinebeck, N.Y., funeral home: “Daniel Neufeld would like you to know that he got sick and tired of waiting for the Buffalo Bills to get their act together and has finally thrown in the towel.”

—Rob Merc, via Twitter, on news that Yankees shortstop Didi Gregorius, while sidelined after Tommy John surgery, taught himself to play the piano: “Maybe he accidentally had Elton John surgery.”

Kicked to the curb

The Chicago Bears waived kicker Chris Blewitt.

Headline writers were inconsolable.

Quote marks

—Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, on a Honda mower breaking a record by going from 0 to 100 mph in 6.29 seconds. “Which was just a push mower that happened to be operated by Usain Bolt.”

—Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Sir Winston won the Belmont Stakes: “Is this the first time in history that four horses won the three races of the Triple Crown?”

—Jaguars CB Jalen Ramsey, via Twitter, after the team told his agent he won’t be getting a contract extension until 2020: “Imma ask for so much money, they have to put me on layaway.”

Quote, end quote

—B.C. blogger Gregg Drinnan, on the CFL kicking off one day after Game 7 of the Stanley Cup: “Is the NHL season too long, or does the CFL season start too soon?”

—Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the perps in Belgium who stole $2 million worth of Red Bull from a delivery truck: “How do these thieves sleep at night?”

Other Sports